As I approach my first Christmas alone, I keep getting reminded that "it's gotta be hard." I'm still trying to get through today and Christmas is a whole week away and to be honest, it's been hard enough to get through today(s) lately.
One day at a time, one step at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. I'm making progress, though, and as I gaze upon my tree with its adorable new ornaments, I'm struck by the fact that I'm breaking traditions as I've known them and making new traditions.
The hardest part of this Christmas?
Not having my daddy to hug and talk football with.
Not doing the Christmas stocking tradition we've always done as a family.
Not being able to hug my beautiful daughters on a special holiday and be with them in person when they open their presents.
Not hugging my mama and seeing her as she opens my present to her.
Not seeing any of my extended family.
While I've spent many Christmases in nontraditional ways, this one will definitely be different. And I'm sure it'll be hard, but I'll plug through it the best I can knowing that the next one won't be so bad. I'll have started some new traditions that I'll build upon for next year and maybe I'll have the ability to go visit my family (I'd really hoped they'd have been able to come here this year but it didn't work out).
So, in the mean time I'm taking deep breaths and trying to focus on the things that are good in my life...there are lots of them. I'll be sad, and I'll be happy, and I'll work through this...and it may just be one ornament at a time.