Y'all...I'm singing...

I can tell I'm getting happier and less stressed by the day.  Today on the way to work, I cranked up the radio and sang loud...at one point I stopped and said, "when was the last time you did that?"

And I don't know.

Clearly things here had gotten to me deeper than I realized.  Just as I wrote about yesterday, it's the little things that make you realize just where you are and what you're doing...that whole gaining perspective thing that's so difficult when you're bogged down in the middle and don't know where the end is anymore.

Things for me had gotten to the point that I didn't have enough time between work days to destress and put it aside and enjoy myself.

I didn't sing. or play piano.  or laugh nearly enough.

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One of the things I'm definitely looking forward to about my working from home will be this...sweet kitty time!

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Daddy's story:  As I mentioned he really loved the weather and would pay attention and store away weather conditions for people wherever they lived.  He'd look up the weather in Austin, Houston, and even where I lived.  If you went on vacation, he'd hunt up weather information on your vacation destination as well.  How I would love to tell him that the past few weeks in London has been in the mid-70s for highs and sunny...he'd be so jealous he might even consider getting on the plane with us...but nah...he wouldn't do that.

It's the little things

People always say it's the little things that count, and I find that to be a fascinating concept...especially to someone who crafts.  It is the little things we do that add up--one stitch at a time, one little speck of yarn or strip of fabric, one minute we spend adds up to many minutes...and all those little things become glorious works of art that we can either enjoy or look at.

In a building sense, little things become big things.  Bricks for instance, look tiny next to a 2 story house, but that house is built out of bricks.

Life, too, is built up of little things.  Moments we share with people we love.  Imprinted memories we have.  Those special connections we make that sometimes seem incomprehensible...sometimes we don't even know that it's going to be the "thing" that sticks out for us.

In my mind's eye right now I'm trying to look at the positive things about my work and my choice to be brave and do the artist thing (that's what everyone is telling me, that I'm being brave...and considering how terrified I am, I'm getting it...being brave is really scary stuff!)...

BUT...

...and this is where it gets tricky because I don't want to be negative on my blog ever, but man...there have been a lot of little things here that have piled up to make me into one miserable person.  It was a major component of my decision to do the artist thing...(though really I don't think I had much choice in the matter...it was becoming increasingly evident to me what my path was: I just had to step on it).

I'm finding when I go home at night this week that I'm more excited about things that I've always been excited about until recently.  I want to read books. I want to play with the cats.  I want to stay up all night and create and play.  I'm cracking jokes, being silly, and encouraging people around me to play.  I even had a full conversation with myself yesterday morning.

I'm such a huge believer in play and how it helps us be more creative and energetic.  I totally think we need recess at work and exercises or games or something fun to do to distract our minds from the toil that it gets into.

...and I've been in the wrong environment.  Play is not appreciated nor respected in my office and I have become more and more unhappy as I've had to shut out that instinct in me to ENJOY myself in the things that I do--and to relax with a little silliness before getting back to the seriousness.

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In discussing all my professional life with David recently he's said over and over again that I'm really just not the personality that fits in well with an office environment where I'm expected to do the same thing everyday.

And I get it and I can't wait until I get into my studio environment and can play.

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I'm going to color by the way.  Make pictures with pencils and markers.  I'm excited.

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I started to crochet a shawl from lace weight yarn.  I thought it would be nice to take to London next week.  It might--it's tiny and will hardly take any room in the suitcase--but it's definitely NOT something to do on the plan, so now I have to figure that out.  I'm thinking it'll probably be socks, but we shall see.

Here is the shawl...it's pretty...and it took me a few tries to get it right, but now it's easy peasy.  But I do want to say that doing 386 single crochet foundation chains is time consuming...

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Daddy's story:  Everyday when my dad got home from work he would go out and feed the cows.  I got to go with him when I was younger and it was always fun throwing the hay around for the cows to eat.  He would let me ride in the trailer sometimes and I think he hit every hole in the ground on purpose to hear me holler...he liked hearing us holler!

Perspective

I talk a lot about perspective on the blog...perhaps I need to put a label over there and put them all together and maybe write a book about perspective one day.  It's one of those topics that I think has lots and lots of ways of looking at it (ha!).

One of the reasons (I remembered this once I got back at it) that I love working needlepoint and cross stitch projects is because I can have such a close view of different pieces of the project.  Then when you get to step back and see the whole thing...wow.  I remember as a kid working these particularly sweet projects by Precious Moments and loving the eyes, the mouths and the general faces of the projects.  I worked on a "strawberry girl" for Elizabeth a long time ago and I remember being very fascinated with the gingham print of the dress (especially as it was 4 colors and I loved how they interacted and how the "folds" of the dress were displayed as an interruption in the pattern.  How interesting.

The really cool thing about working a projects, any project actually, is that as you focus on the tiny details, the big picture sometimes gets lost...and it's like a big "reveal" when you're done and you get to see the whole thing.  It's also awesome because as someone who crafts, you can look at other people's work, notice the big picture first, and then dig into the details.  While you may not see the details in quite the same way they did, you get to see them nonetheless.

And I'm always amazed that I "made" whatever it is that I'm looking at.  I always think "I never saw it that way" until I see it that way.  It's pretty awesome, that.  I love it that my work becomes better when it gets out of my hands and into the hands of others, or on a bed, or on a wall...

Life is like that, too, don't you think?  Big picture things are often really really hard to come by.  We get bogged down in the daily-ness of life and forget to look at the big things, the overarching themes, the general-ness that's going on around us.  And just like in crafting, every now and then we get the big a-ha moment and say "wow"...that's pretty awesome.

I've hit some big turning points in my life lately--with my father's passing, and the upcoming move of my daughters not to mention the whole work situation--And what's getting me through it is that knowing life, like in crafting, has perspective and while things may seem difficult in the details right now, the big picture will be awesome when I have a chance to step back and look at it...just must find that vantage point and the time to slow down and appreciate it.

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I think I need to go to Switzerland, don't you?

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Daddy's story:  When I was little I would ride around with my daddy whenever I could.  I love snuggling up next to him in the cab of the truck (this was before the days of required car seats for tots and seat belts for everyone else).  I would sing songs from the radio and tell him stories and we would have a grand old time.  When we were driving through town my daddy would invariable ask if I wanted to "drive by Dairy Queen" and I would get so excited and say "yes yes, let's drive by Dairy Queen"...I was going to get a Dilly Bar or a dipped cone and I could taste it and could even feel my tummy start to get hungry...then we would do just that...drive right on by.  Not stopping, not turning in, not going to...not going through the drive through...just driving by.  OH how it got me every.single.time.

Up close and personal

This morning I want to show you a few close-ups of my work. I love taking close ups because I love seeing the individual stitches.  It also affords one the opportunity to notice specific details about a project that you might have otherwise missed.

First up for inspection is the Woodlands Shawl:

Now that my rows are pretty long, I'm not getting one full color on each row.  So, what you're seeing here are the two ends and how the colors are interacting with each other.  I think it looks pretty amazing, especially with that little shot of blue on the end at the bottom half.

Next I want to show you the needlepoint section I'm working on right now.  I LOVE stitching these flowers.  They have been very absorbing--to the point that I stayed up too late and stitched too long on Saturday night.