- I was still very confused alone and scared
- I hadn't faced the worst of my demons
- I hadn't discovered, truly, what a wonderful person I am
- I was getting by day by day (sometimes moment by moment)
- I was just waking up to discover that I love life and that things are truly beautiful and wonderful.
- I feel strong and capable
- I feel very much a part of a group of people
- I have found love again
- I look forward to a future of joy and happiness.
I stop every now and then and think about the really big conversations that David and I had before we separated. I kept pointing out that I didn't feel that we were embracing life, that we weren't happy. That we didn't find joy in moments and didn't appreciate who we were individually as well as as a couple.
So the fact that I can see a future of joy and happiness, well, that's pretty wonderful and makes me so proud and content. I appreciate who I am individually I appreciate who Bill is individually.. I am learning to appreciate who Bill and I are as a couple (we're still very new together and that appreciation happens at funny times and moments...it's very special).
Tomorrow marks 4 months since we went on our first date. That amazes me in so many ways. I feel so complete in this relationship that I can hardly believe it's really only been 4 months--hasn't it been a lifetime? And that makes me happy. And then there's the moment of realizing that it's ONLY been 4 months and that means that there are so many more months to come. And that makes me happy.
Joy and Happiness...those were the two things I wanted so much in my "past life." I didn't realize they weren't attainable in those circumstances. Too much was out of whack. Too much had to be "righted" to make it happen.Too much had to change..
What I see in my current life is a level of stability I've never really experienced before. I've worked very hard at naming my needs, of knowing what I want from life, and planning on how to get there. I'm very satisfied with my work. I have a wonderful group of friends. It's really amazing what I have accomplished this year.
Joy and Happiness are part of my life and will be. It's as simple as that.