I never know what day of the week it is

One of the weird things about working in a business that is open 7 days a week is that only a few have a M-F schedule.  Many of us work different schedules, don't have 2 days in a row off, or something along those lines.

I work Saturday through Wednesday right now.  So, when everyone comes to work and says "ugh it's such a Monday," all I can think is "it's Wednesday, right"

And on Wednesday when it's my Friday I'm so happy and tell everyone when I leave "see you next week" because it's MY weekend...well, that's just weird, too.

And on Friday when I'm relaxing or doing errands or doing whatever I used to do on Sundays I read all these posts on Facebook about everyone talking about it being Friday and looking forward to having their weekend...and I'm thinking "but my "Monday" is tomorrow.

It's right confusing, I tell you.

And I really usually have absolutely no idea what day of the week it is.  Good thing I'm good about marking the days off of my calendar because I think I'd forget even worse.

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Today, as in just a few minutes ago, I put this beauty on the blocking mats.

Pattern: Lunaris
Yarn: Yummy by Miss Babs in colors Lagoon and Pool--March 2015 colors to represent Sri Lanka on the 2015 Miss Babs Knitting Tour.

I loved knitting with this yarn.  The dye is gorgeous and the two colors are so special and wonderful.  I'm going to see if I have enough left to make a pair of fraternal socks...and if so those will be cast on this afternoon.

A 2014 Yarn Club Yarn

Since I've declared 2015 the "year of the yarn club" I'm trying to knit all the club yarns that come in relatively close to when they arrive and then knit some old things as I'm waiting on the new stuff.  The Cookie A patterns (and yarn!) were fabulous and I had a few days waiting for the next shipment to come in so I started this one...I think it was from August or June of 2014...definitely hideous summer time...heck it could have been October, but I don't know.

It's Outlander Themed...The yarn is called Stone Circle and is in the Traveler base that Dragonfly Fibers carries.  It's beautiful knitted and that beauty is helping me get through the pattern...which I don't hate but I don't love either.  Maybe I will one day.  But as the shawl grows and the rows get ever longer, I'm just hoping that I finish it before I quit it...

I think I will.

Here it is about 8 repeats in.  I have 11 before starting the border, and I almost finished repeat 9 before going to bed last night...maybe I can get through repeat 10 tonight.  That should give me the motivation to keep trucking along...

As I'm knitting on it I'm glad that it's mostly neutral in tone and that I'll have something that will indeed be a neutral colored accessory.  I find I don't have many of those since I gravitate towards bright happy colors most of the time.

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I finished watching Grantchester yesterday.  What a wonderful show.  I do hope they make a follow-up season.  I so thoroughly enjoyed this one.

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I'm attempting to re-read The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood.  I loved it when I read it the first time so suggested it for our start-up JBW bookclub...but...I'm struggling to read.  Still don't have the proper attention span for reading, even the easy stuff (and this isn't an easy book).  One day I will, but for now, I get through a few pages at a time.

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I went to see Cinderella at the movie theater last night.  That was fun and enjoyable and highly recommended if you like the fairy tale (Disney version).

Action

It's fine and good to think about how to improve your life or your situation or whatever needs improving, but until you take action it's just potential...and while potential can be good, results are better.

Today I put into action some of the things I'm learning about functioning healthily...primarily I reminded myself on a very regular basis that I really love my job and I love talking to people on the phone AND I enjoy moving around all day.  I reminded myself also that I'm only one person and I can't answer the phone AND pull yarn out of a box.  I reminded myself when I messed up something that I'm still learning...and that there are complicated processes and when I forget a step and someone tells me they're just letting me know...not criticizing me.  Apologizing for making a mistake doesn't need to happen.  Just put it into my head what I didn't do correctly and fix it for next time.

And you know what?  I had an awesome day.  One lady from Oklahoma who I talked to last week about the French Can Can shawl called to ask about something else, and that was cool because she was excited to talk to me...we shared progress on our shawls.  Another sent an email saying that she really enjoyed my assistance picking out her colors for the Kaffe Fasset MKAL (and oh my I can't wait to see these come to life!)...and in between all these wonderful kudos, I got to handle yarn, help people make decisions about the next projects they want to do, talk to my coworkers and walk almost 5 miles.

It was a glorious day...and now I'm home, weaving and knitting and playing with the kitties.

I really do truly believe this place is magical!

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Today's picture is of that French Can Can shawl.  I started the border last night and would have kept going but darn if I wasn't tired.  I'm off to it right now.

Yarn

It's no secret that I love yarn.  In fact, those of you who have been to my place know just how much I love yarn and the rest of you can simply guess based on your own love of yarn or whatever other artistic pursuits you follow.

Yarn does it for me.  I love to look at it, feel it and then make things from it.  If the things I make are useful, more the better. If they're pretty AND useful, awesomeness.  If they're pretty, useful, and soft and luxurious...well...that's a match made in heaven.

Meet Honor by Lorna's Laces:

The color way is one that JBW is featuring while Sandy is undergoing her chemotherapy.  It's called "Go Sandy Go" and 100% of the profits are going to the SD Ireland Cancer Research Fund.

Honor is 70% alpaca and 30% silk and is just pure heaven.  I love knitting with this yarn, and garter stitch is perfect because it's showcasing the color and making the yarn squishy soft.  The pattern I'm using is French Cancan Shawl.  I have enough yarn to make the entire shawl from this color but I may combine with it the Fraser Colorway...we'll see how I feel when I get to that awesome lace and cable border.

This shawl will definitely meet the match made in heaven category.  I'm impatient to finish it up because it's so lovely and wonderful to touch...but that would mean I was done with it and that would be sad too.

It's the little things

People always say it's the little things that count, and I find that to be a fascinating concept...especially to someone who crafts.  It is the little things we do that add up--one stitch at a time, one little speck of yarn or strip of fabric, one minute we spend adds up to many minutes...and all those little things become glorious works of art that we can either enjoy or look at.

In a building sense, little things become big things.  Bricks for instance, look tiny next to a 2 story house, but that house is built out of bricks.

Life, too, is built up of little things.  Moments we share with people we love.  Imprinted memories we have.  Those special connections we make that sometimes seem incomprehensible...sometimes we don't even know that it's going to be the "thing" that sticks out for us.

In my mind's eye right now I'm trying to look at the positive things about my work and my choice to be brave and do the artist thing (that's what everyone is telling me, that I'm being brave...and considering how terrified I am, I'm getting it...being brave is really scary stuff!)...

BUT...

...and this is where it gets tricky because I don't want to be negative on my blog ever, but man...there have been a lot of little things here that have piled up to make me into one miserable person.  It was a major component of my decision to do the artist thing...(though really I don't think I had much choice in the matter...it was becoming increasingly evident to me what my path was: I just had to step on it).

I'm finding when I go home at night this week that I'm more excited about things that I've always been excited about until recently.  I want to read books. I want to play with the cats.  I want to stay up all night and create and play.  I'm cracking jokes, being silly, and encouraging people around me to play.  I even had a full conversation with myself yesterday morning.

I'm such a huge believer in play and how it helps us be more creative and energetic.  I totally think we need recess at work and exercises or games or something fun to do to distract our minds from the toil that it gets into.

...and I've been in the wrong environment.  Play is not appreciated nor respected in my office and I have become more and more unhappy as I've had to shut out that instinct in me to ENJOY myself in the things that I do--and to relax with a little silliness before getting back to the seriousness.

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In discussing all my professional life with David recently he's said over and over again that I'm really just not the personality that fits in well with an office environment where I'm expected to do the same thing everyday.

And I get it and I can't wait until I get into my studio environment and can play.

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I'm going to color by the way.  Make pictures with pencils and markers.  I'm excited.

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I started to crochet a shawl from lace weight yarn.  I thought it would be nice to take to London next week.  It might--it's tiny and will hardly take any room in the suitcase--but it's definitely NOT something to do on the plan, so now I have to figure that out.  I'm thinking it'll probably be socks, but we shall see.

Here is the shawl...it's pretty...and it took me a few tries to get it right, but now it's easy peasy.  But I do want to say that doing 386 single crochet foundation chains is time consuming...

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Daddy's story:  Everyday when my dad got home from work he would go out and feed the cows.  I got to go with him when I was younger and it was always fun throwing the hay around for the cows to eat.  He would let me ride in the trailer sometimes and I think he hit every hole in the ground on purpose to hear me holler...he liked hearing us holler!

It happens every time

Sometimes when I'm down I think, "this is it, I'll never be able to be truly happy again" and then I wallow in self-pity and go on being miserable.

But, I force myself each night (and sometimes during the day if the down is really bad) to think of things that make me happy--please me, keep me going.

And I've been sad a lot lately--I have a lot to be sad about and sometimes it really is overwhelming.  The biggie is, of course, my dad's illness.  But, my girls are moving to Florida in a month, I'm not terribly happy at my work, I don't know what they'll have me doing at work come July (this is potentially good, potentially not, and therefore, VERY stressful), and David's been gone for almost 3 weeks.

As you know, though, the gratefulness and the forced thinking of happy things is necessary to remind me that things really aren't bad.  I'm focusing on the bad, but there are so many other things that are amazing and wonderful.

I've lost weight, I have wonderful kitties in my life, the sun has been shining for a week (or most of it), I can knit.  I rediscovered needlepoint and have had a GREAT time doing it.  I am no longer obsessed with eating food and can eat just to maintain health and well-being.  All of these, when I think about them, make me happy.  They keep me going and allow me to see the other good things in life.

Like that my daddy had a wonderful life and was able to retire in his early 50s and enjoy 20 years of retirement.  My mom is able to be home with him during his last days and keep and make him happy and comfortable.  They've been smart with their money and she will be able to live comfortably for the rest of her life.

I am also super-excited about my daughters' opportunity.  They are getting to move to take on their "dream job"...it's an awesome and wonderful opportunity for them.  I will miss them, but this is the right thing for them.  And that's terrific.

I also remind myself that through my blog and through reading the blogs of others, I've been able to develop friends...a different kind of friends than I've had in the past, but friends nonetheless.  It's wonderful reading about the antics of different people, their knitting, their families, their happiness and sadness.  I enjoy being able to write here and share things that are going on in my life, or in my head, or through my hands.

And once I"m able to get myself out of the sad feeling by remembering and focusing on the good feelings wonderful things start to happen.  Case in point:  2 times this week I have won yarn giveaways!  Ellen sent me some green yarn and Jimmy Beans Wool is sending me a sweater's worth of wool as one of their giveaways on FaceBook this week.

And a couple of weeks ago, when David was on his first trip, he met Mary and she gave him a giftie for me:  A Tiny Happy bag and a sweet little bunny to keep me company during all of this change and frustration and fear.  Thank you Mary.  You're very sweet.  And because I think of you when I think of Vesper Yarn, I'm keeping my Vesper projects in this Tiny Happy bag...at present the 3S Shawl which is growing by leaps and bounds!

Happenings

Things are happening all the time...sometimes we like it, sometimes we don't.  Sometimes we notice it and sometimes we're completely oblivious.

Sometimes we love it and sometimes we're super-sad.

And sometimes there are things that we have no control over and sitting back and watching things unfold is the only thing we can do.

I'm in the latter position and it's one that I hate.  Being helpless to your fate...it's frustrating and sad and unbelievably stressful.

My response when I get in a situation like this is to want to run and hide...or to play as much as I possibly can.  Unfortunately David is still on his 3 weeks of traveling, so running and hiding has pretty much been my mode...sorry for the absence from the blog.  It if makes you feel any better I also had to take 2 days off of work, and I'm sorry to report that they didn't do much to improve my outlook.

However, they did a TON to improve my knitting production.  Finished projects and new ones started...and an old craft revisited and totally loving it.

Welted Toque Hat in Dragonfly Fibers's Damsel Yarn, colorway Love Your Mother (Earth)

Elm Socks in Lorna Lace's Solemate, colorway Circus

Sampler afghan of my own design using mini skeins and leftover sock yarn

3S Shawl in Vesper Sock Yarn, colorway Woodlands.

A needlepoint canvas revisited with sleeping cat behind.

Taking Knits (and myself) Outside

All the people who talk about taking good photographs of your crafts say "get them outside in natural sunlight."

I am eternally grateful that I found a lovely house that has windows...lots and lots of windows, that when opened let in a lot of natural light because...

I'm terrifically allergic to outside.  Especially in spring when (around here anyway) everything is yellow--even 10 minutes after all the rain has dried up.  I know it's temporary, but right now my eyes are pretty much weeping all the time. I have drops and they help, but still....it's pretty much not fun most of the time.

I did, however, finish my Sugared Violets Shawl (otherwise known as "Love your Mother Earth Shawl") and wanted to have a modeling session with it, outside, next to the azaleas which are finally blooming, so...that's what I did yesterday.

Isn't it lovely?

Tomorrow, I will show you what I've decided to do with the rest of this gorgeous yarn.

Last night and this morning

Last night, I came home, ate dinner, didn't clean the kitchen, and knitted.  The shawl was calling my name, clambering to be worked on, so that's what I did.  Knitted on the shawl, listened to my book and just chilled until it was time to go to bed.

I'm not sure yet if I'm avoiding the sock, or if the shawl just wants to be knitted that badly.  I haven't thoroughly liked the pattern so far.  In fact, I'm considering just knitting the foot plain so it'll be over more quickly.  That should be a sign that it's not working for me.  We will see.  I THINK what the problem is is that I don't like doing the doubled decrease...the slipping as if to knit-2-together then slipping those 2 stitches over is kind of tight and slow, and I'm not crazy about it...it looks great so I don't want to do a different doubled decrease...so I'm waivering.  Frog now when I just have a few repeats in or sally forth and finish.  It'll be pretty...but it may also never get finished.

I'll make a decision tomorrow because to be honest, today I'm just not up to it.  I'm tired since it stormed from about midnight on last night.  The rain was particularly bad right at the time for me to leave this morning, so I waited to go for about 30 minutes...and even so the roads were very very wet.  I do hate driving on wet roads.

I also feel like I'm coming down with a cold.  We'll see if it becomes anything, but everyone at work has been sick, so it's probably my turn.

Here is the most beautiful shawl.  I've done the first pattern repeat on the lace edged border.  2 more pattern repeats of it to go, then another little eyelet row followed by 2 rows of garter stitch.  This puppy will be finished tomorrow and then it's blocking time.

I wanted you to see how much of the first ball I have left...not much.  And there are lots and lots of stitches on each row right now, so it won't last much longer.  I'm going to do a double knot join so I can not worry about running out mid-row.  Also, I think attempting to weave in ends on a lace is not going to work out very well.

In case you're enthralled by watching this shawl grow, I will post pics tomorrow and Sunday, so stay tuned!

Adrift

Sometimes, after finishing a good book or an awesome knitting project, I feel adrift.  Unfocused.  Unable to settle into something.

That's how I felt last night.

I went to the dentist yesterday afternoon for my cleaning (no cavities! yea me!) and then came home, prepped dinner and lunch, and then sat down to work on something.  Only I didn't really want to work on anything.  I had a hard time concentrating and really couldn't figure out what to do.

So, I got up and cleaned the kitchen since it needed to be done and then settled back down for my new book (Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith) and some knitting.

I did manage to get some knitting done, but not a lot.  I encouraged myself with a small goal--one pattern repeat on the sock, get through the eyelet rows on the shawl--so that's what I did.

Then I went to bed where I slept like the dead until 6am this morning.  Maybe I was tired last night?

Reading...and knitting

I've always been an avid reader.  I read all the time as a child.  I'd have a book in my book bag and one at home and wouldn't mix them.  I loved having multiple stories and characters going through my head all the time.  When I was in 3rd grade I read all the books in the school library section for "3rd grade and under" so they moved me up to the "older" books.  This is when I fell in love with Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I even majored in English in college because I could read and get "credit" for it.  Then I read probably 5 books at a time, finishing 3 or so per week.  It was intense, especially in grad school, but mostly I loved it.

Then one day when I was trying to get myself motivated to work on my English dissertation (which is different from the one I actually finished) I realized that I didn't have to read any book that I wasn't interested in.  This made me feel free, liberated somehow and I ended up combing through my library and ridding myself of any book that I didn't love.  My to-be-read shelf was combed through carefully and books I wasn't terrifically excited about reading got donated to the library.

After deciding that I didn't want the PhD in English and instead starting over (yes, I started over) on a doctorate in higher education leadership, I promised myself that I would never waste time on books again.  If I didn't like it...off it went.  Even if I was just starting, or over half-way through.  I would not ever read a book again if I wasn't having fun reading it.

Then when I was writing my dissertation, I didn't want to read anything "hard" or that made me think.  I told myself that all I'd read while writing was romance novels, so I did.  And I loved it.

Then something weird happened.  I turned in my last revision on my dissertation, looked at my to-be-read shelf and didn't want to read a single book in there.  I got a few books by my favorite authors on my Kindle and I didn't want to read those.  I tried and tried to find something that would interest me, but I was just simply not interested in reading.

And it's very very weird.  What I am interested in instead is knitting, and I'm not skilled enough to do both at the same time.

But, something else happened to me a little over a year ago.  I decided that I was not going to be able to handle, for one more day, the commute to work.  I was terrifically bored on the drive in (about an hour) and going home was torture.  People kept recommending audio books, but I have a hard time paying attention to people talking and thought it wouldn't work for me.  Desperation brought about desperate measures, though, and I bought Outlander.  A book I knew I loved and since the new installment was going to be released "soon" I thought it would be a good experience to start from book 1 and read through.  I had time (these books are super-long).  So, I invited Claire and Jaime to come on my commute and a world of opportunities opened up for me.

I didn't mind my drive in...in fact, I sort of looked forward to it, especially when the books were getting good.  I've re-listened to books I've read before and had different experiences listening to them.  The narrators really do bring a lot to the books and it makes the experiences different--sometimes better sometimes not.

I still like my romances.  I listen to a lot of them.  But I also am starting to enjoy my books that are "harder" reads.  The ones that will challenge me, make me think, and provide me with opportunities to TALK ABOUT books with people again.

How wonderful.

But, you know what else is awesome?  I can listen to books while I knit...it's amazing.  And so much better than watching TV because I don't have to look up or miss anything because I'm not looking up.

I'm so glad that Audible has a wonderful subscription program because if it didn't, I'd probably break the bank in how quickly I'm consuming books this year...but that's ok.  I'm reading again and it's awesome.

The book I finished last night was one that I want to go back and read again.   The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton.  Go get your copy, read it, be amazed at how the story plays out...the writing, the imagery, the beauty of that book.  And do it quickly because I need to talk with people about this book while it's still on my mind!

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Knitting progress:  I finished the Chicken Socks!  I got to the next eyelet row on the shawl (but only worked on it for a quick stint because I needed to finish the socks).  And I started the next pair of socks.  They are "spring" socks that I'm doing a knit-a-long with the Seasonal Sock Syndrome folks.  The yarn for those is Lorna's Laces SoleMate, which I'm not sure I'm sold on.  It has a tenseness to it that I'm not sure I like for socks, but we shall see how it ends up knitting up.  The colors are gorgeous, as are all LL colors.  This one is called Circus, I believe.  I had a hard time reading the label, but David picked it out of all the yarns that I threw on the floor as the one that sang "spring" to him.  The pattern on the new socks is Celebrate Spring by Anne Budd.

How do I work?

I promised to talk about how I work today, and I promised that you'll probably think I'm weird after this post...but if so, oh well.  I am what I am and can hardly change that, now can I?

I want to preface this post by saying, also, that my kids are grown, that I get off of work at 4pm, that my husband is the cook in the family, and that finally, I'm no longer taking classes so my evenings are my evenings and I revel in them because for so long, my evenings belonged to any and everyone else and it just feels nice to sit and do what I want for several hours straight.

(also, and this is a bit sad, but I hurt my foot somehow and haven't been able to exercise in a few weeks.  I'm hoping that it gets better soon, but until it does, I've got that extra 30 minutes at night).

OK...so here goes.

I get home around 5pm.  At this point we usually eat supper--or very near it.  We're done by 5:30 and I clean up the kitchen after that.  Sometimes, if it's been a long day, I may knit for a bit first, but most of the time I prefer just to get the cleaning up done.

After cleaning up, I'll check Facebook, Ravelry, play some Candy Crush and check my e-mail...and then I'll knit for 30 minutes or until the "top of the hour."  Last night, because I had the whole evening in front of me alone, I listened to my audiobook and set it to turn off after 30 minutes.  This allowed me 30 minutes of knitting time, and then I took a break to do some chore around the house.

I'll pack my lunch, fold/wash clothes, have a shower, or do something else around the house during my break.  This is good to get my other muscles moving and give my hands a break.

Then I'm back to knitting for 30 minutes or until the top of the hour.  On an evening like last night I can get 4 or 5 knitting sessions in.  Last night I got 4, 2 on each project.

Also, I like to have 2 projects going at once.  This keeps my hands from getting over tired using the same size needle or working on the same "tension"...and that's also a good thing.

Update on progress.  The sock is over half way finished with the foot, and the first row of the eyelet pattern has been done on the shawl.  It was at this point in the pattern that I've ever lost count of my stitches or realized that there's an error in stitch count, but something's not quite right with the number of stitches I "should" have the number that I do have...I'm not overly worried as this is a shawl and it won't matter too much until I get to the lace portion at the end of the shawl...the rows are long and take a good while, so in 30 (or so) minutes I may get 4 rows done.

Club Dragonfly and A Week in the Life of Knitting

Two things today!

1.  Club Dragonfly arrived on Saturday.  I don't think it was supposed to get to us before today but we got it on Saturday and it may have been the most beautiful yarn I've ever seen.  I love it.  Plain and simple.  The pattern that came with the yarn is leg warmers, and while it's been cool this winter, I'm not a leg-warmer girl.  Never have been and just don't think I will be unless I move to Canada and then I'll probably wear anything to be warm.  SO...knowing this I decided to seek out something else I could make with 670 yards of gorgeous sport-weight yarn.

At first I thought I would make a camisole or shell sweater, but realized that I'll probably need something like 750 yards of sport-weight yarn to complete one in a size Medium...and to be honest, I don't want to "add" anything to this yarn to spoil its beauty, so off I went in search of a shawl.  I immediately thought of one I downloaded on Ravelry a while back and decided this was the pattern.  I cast on for it before the end of the day on Saturday and there you go.  A shawl in the most gorgeous yarn ever was begun.


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2.  This week I'm going to detail my progress each day.  I'll take a picture of my knitting before I go to bed.  I think this will be interesting to show-case how much knitting I can get done of an evening and what captivates and interests me about the projects I'm working on.  What I have below are pics of the two projects I worked on on Saturday and Sunday.  The first is the Chicken Socks.  I cast the purple cuff on Thursday night, knitted down the leg on Friday and then Saturday finished it.

Since the "most beautiful" yarn arrived on Saturday late afternoon, I had to search around for its pattern, which I finally found, and wound the skeins into cakes and ended up with this amount of progress on Saturday evening.

Sunday dawned bright and early for me and I immediately started my rotation of working on the two main projects...the sock and the shawl.  I got this far by bedtime on Sunday.

That's a lot of work on the shawl, btw, and I'm about to be at the interesting part where the eyelet rows start.

Patterns:

• Socks--basic 56 stitch sock with different colored heels, cuffs and toes.
• Shawl--Sugared Violets

Yarn:

• Socks--Blue Moon Fiber Arts Club Yarn--Doodle Doo (the patterns had chickens on them, so I'm doing my own pattern for this one as chickens aren't really my thing).
• Shawl--Dragonfly Fibers Damsel in March 2014 club color: "Love Your Mother (Earth)"

More on how I work tomorrow...You'll probably think me weird, but alas...it's me! :)