I think most people would agree that life is made up of moments...defining moments to be more exact...that completely change the trajectory of where we are going and what we are doing. These moments are those that when we look back on them (hopefully at the ripe age of 90) that we see truly were momentous, of note, defining who we became later.
Getting married, finding our major, seeing the Eiffel Tower, having kids, (I assume having grandkids, retiring), moving to a new location, getting your first job.
All of these moments build character and require of the person that they dig deep and learn who they are and respond accordingly. Our energies devoted to these things, though they are big and character building, are typically very positive. We see them as "opportunities" not "tragedies" and usually we are happy to talk about them to our friends and family and (sometimes) inflate our role in making and urging these things to come about.
Sometimes our defining moments aren't positive, though. I know that for me one of my big defining moments was when I was in high school and my boyfriend was severely injured in a car accident. If I try, I can go back to that time and see and feel and hear and smell what was going on around me because getting the news was so big and completely changed the course of where I was planning to go with my life.
As I was waking up this morning I realized that what I've been thinking of as another "defining moment" (the divorce) is really not THE defining moment in all of this. MY defining moment (and the use of MY is deliberate) is that moment when I decided to inquire about employment at Jimmy Beans Wool. In deciding to face reality (i.e. I couldn't change his mind) I needed to live the life I want to live, and that involved starting to find employment in the industry where I want to work.
The details of "will I have enough money to live on" and "how will I get there" are just details. Things to figure out and to do. But they aren't the defining moment in all of this. Realizing that the strength and power of ME was there and that I needed to tap into it is the moment defining who I am and who I will become on the other side of this. It is why my friends are saying to me "you're so brave" and "you're doing so well"...
Don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of fear and pain and sadness going on and sometimes those emotions can almost overwhelm me. And that's when I have to remind myself that I'm in the process of defining ME and that in doing so the ME that gets defined will truly be someone I can love and be happy with.
And that's really quite important in the grand scheme of things--loving and being happy with who you are. Definition indeed!
Pearl helped me get my yarn boxed up.