Every now and then (pretty often) I take a big huge deep breath and tell myself that I've got this. I'm smart. I'll figure this out.
I'm applying for jobs. I'm not even trying to be deliberate about it. If something looks like it might be interesting, I'm applying for it. Some of these involve a multi-thousand-mile move. That scares the heck out of me, and I have no idea 1) how I'll afford such a move and 2) how I'll get there with all my stuff and 3) what "stuff" is necessary to take and what I can leave behind. On 3 I'm thinking the yarn must go with me, the quilts, my clothes...can I start over with all new furniture when I get there? What about my loom? I love my living room furniture...Maybe I can just sleep on the couch for a while and have a bedroom full of crafting stuff.
It's so hard to picture...but I'll figure it out when I need to.
Contingency plan: I've been admitted to the Fashion Merchandising Program at the local university. I will do that this fall if nothing else works out.
Dream plan: Working in a yarn store WHEREVER that may be.
In the meantime: I'm trying to look at opportunities, not ignore anything and get myself healthy again. This morning I walked into my living room and saw the sunlight flooding the place and knew that it would all be ok somehow someday someway. I just need to have faith and press on.