Today I went for a walk, shopped, and cooked

It may sound trivial, going for a walk, shopping and cooking.  It's what people all over the world do everyday, but it felt amazing to go for a walk, go shopping and cook some soup (the rest of it will be cooked in a bit...some chicken with brussel sprouts and butternut squash (couldn't find pre-chopped sweet potatoes and I don't have a proper knife for cutting something as significant as a sweet potato)....and maybe some strawberry pasta for a treat if I feel like it...which I think I probably will.

The walk...let me tell you about the walk.  Hidden Valley Regional Park is just down the street from my work and I pass the sign for it on a regular basis, so I decided this morning that I was going to get up and go, so I did.  I didn't go on any major hike because I don't have proper boots, and in the lot where I parked there was  a ranger showing off a "pet" rattle snake...I got the message and stayed in the well-tended areas.  I sat on a boulder and stared out into the mountains.  It's just so gorgeous here.

The little white buildings in the middle of the picture are downtown Reno.  I live just off of the picture on the right side--or to the north.  It's just so gorgeous.  I love all the blues in the sky out here.  It reminds me of that scene in Girl with a Pearl Earring where she's asked to describe the clouds and the painter says, "no, really describe all the colors you see" and it isn't just grey but white and blue and green and gold.  that's the sky here.  I think this picture does such a good job of showing how it is really ombre...from pale pale blue to deep...it really does look like that.  It's magical.

I'm so overcome everytime I look at the sky here.  I have never been one to cry easily but I do now...I know it's all the turmoil I've been through, all the loss, all the change and just overwhelming differences.  And today I could see that some of them (those changes and differences) are good and I'm going to sparkle out here.

And that's pretty magical, too.

Weaving

Once you're all tied on it's time to start weaving.  The process of weaving involves throwing the shuttle back and forth and beating the weft into place.  It requires tightening of the warp threads and stamina.  You "tromp" a treadle to lift the shed in a pattern.  In the process the weft threads go under some threads and over other threads and once beat into place create a solid cloth with durability and beauty.

There are so many places to go with the weaving analogy, but today I'm going to focus on beating and tightening because that's where I am...maybe tomorrow I'll dig a little deeper.

The process of "beating" the weft sounds so violent, but it really isn't.  You don't beat hard because if you do you'll end up with a really tight fabric that won't be good for much--maybe a rug, but that's debatable.  You can actually "beat" really softly and create light diaphanous fabric...something that has more air to it than heft.  I like to do this with scarves. I challenge myself to beat softly and evenly and see if I can do it...create beauty and structure.

I'm trying to do that with my life right now.  I'm beating all the pieces into place...not violently but in order to create structure.  I'm not beating hard as that would mean there would be places that wouldn't look right, that would feel uncomfortable and wouldn't function properly in the finished me.  So, I'm being gentle but even and working on getting something that has structure and boundaries and beauty in the end.

And tightening the warp...well...without a tight warp your end woven fabric would look shabby at best and may not work at all if it's truly awful.  The warp has to be retensioned every several beats early in a project.  This takes out the looseness that inevitably happens when you're winding on and creates a fabric that is even throughout the entire length.  It's important to keep retensioning even when you feel like you've over tightened already.  You don't want to go crazy and break the warp threads, but if you pay attention, the fabric will tell you what's tight enough and you'll get a fabric that is even throughout and truly wonderful.

In my life I liken this retensioning the warp to holding myself responsible.  For all things--taking care of myself, being vulnerable, learning this process of being healthy (mentally and physically), going easy on myself (not tightening too much and breaking my threads!), but also trying to maintain some structure underneath that will look good throughout the whole length of me--staying true to myself in other words.

The warp threads of our life are the ones that we have throughout the whole part of being us.  They're the ones that make up our core values and if we take care of them, keep them lined up, properly tensioned and carefully tended, we'll create a fabric that will be recognizable throughout despite different weft threads we weave in.  And the beauty that is us is truly unique because of it.

Tying On

The next step in preparing to weave is "Tying on"...It really involves two parts--tying on and the winding on.  The tying part happens at the front and back end of the warp.

What you see here is the back beam with the warp wound on.  First you tie all those loose ends that you saw yesterday around  a rod, then roll it on straightening and tidying the ends as they go through the reed and the heddles.  

This part can be tricky, but if you've wound your warp well, sleyed and threaded accurately (i.e. no crossed threads) it should "shake out" and get even as you go. 

I kind of think of it as carefully untangling really really long unruly hair (since I have rather unruly hair I guess that's why I think of it that way).

One thing about the Harrisville loom that I like a lot is that the shafts are not stable front to back.  They'll give a little when the warp is winding on and that protects from breaking warp threads.

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And that's where I'm going with today's analogy.  In so many things with my life right now, I'm realigning the threads as I know them.  Sometimes this makes me very anxious and insecure.  I'm learning that while I may have expressed some emotions I kept others (the "bad" ones) hidden away.  I'm letting them out now because I'm learning that you can't really build appropriate boundaries and have healthy relationships unless you're willing to recognize when things aren't perfect.

Ummm...that's really hard...and it scares me...and it makes me want to run and hide and then I get all tangled up...so...I shake myself, let myself cry if I need to, hug the cats (Zora participates with this better than Pearl) and get back to winding on.  

It's a good thing because what I'm going to show you tomorrow, the prepared loom, is that thing that I'm striving for.  I'm not near there yet...my threads have gotten very unruly but nothing is unmanageable.

Threading

The next step after you have sleyed the reed is to thread the heddles.  A heddle is a metal (sometimes it's made of plastic or nylon, but mine are metal) object with a hole in the middle.  It holds the threads onto a shaft so that you can weave patterns.   This part of the design process is for me very tedious.  I enjoy doing patterns, so know it's a necessary part of the overall effect, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.  Threading the loom takes almost as long as weaving the project (this depends on the thickness of thread and how many threads you have in a project of course, but roughly...about 1/2 the time is spent "dressing" the loom and half "weaving.")

To thread you take a single thread from the warp and place it through the eye of the heddle on the appropriate shaft.  You need to keep from crossing the warp threads and every thread needs to come to the back at its place.  One thing that is really cool about a threaded loom is that when its finished it reminds me of little soldiers lining up for inventory.

Here is the loom threaded for the towel project I'm currently working on.

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To continue using the weaving analogy for the process of healing and self-discovery, threading represents that necessary step in life to put all the individual pieces of everything that makes up the beauty of your life in alignment.  To assign them to their proper place, and then secure them so that they all know where they belong.  It can be tedious work, but in the end (and tomorrow you'll see how the threading is so worth it) having everything where it belongs makes everything else run more smoothly.

Sleying

I like the homophonic nature of the word "sley"...because to be honest, I feel like I've been slaying some demons this week.  Of all the weeks since I've been in Nevada, this has probably been the most difficult emotionally.  I'm not exactly sure why, though I have been feeling a tad lonely (ok a lot lonely)...but I know this too shall pass.

One day I'll have a passel of friends and it'll all be good.  But today...today I was sad and lonely.

Those demons I'm slaying?  Well, they have to do with the ones that burrowed under my skin at some point in my life and said it was ok for people to control or take advantage of me.  In a way those demons gave me a lot of protection and as I slay them, they go away and I'm feeling rather exposed and vulnerable.

BUT, I'm learning.  And acknowledging emotions, being vulnerable, all of that is part of being human and making connections and being able to develop strong healthy relationships.  And I'm all over that.  So, I'll be lonely for a bit and learn about myself and figure this out.  Because this whole journey has opened my heart to the realization that this is totally worth it.

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so, what the heck is sleying, then?

See the picture below.  It is of a sleyed reed in my loom.

The first step in dressing the loom is to take the wound warp (I'll go through the process of planning a project with my next set of towels...planning the project culminates in winding the warp and that was already done with this project before I got to NV) and separate groups of the threads so that they lay evenly across the loom.  During this particular project, I took two threads and "sleyed" them through the "dent" in my reed which sits in the beater of the loom.  I love watching the warp get laid out as I'm working on it.  It shows me the beauty of the projects and allows me to see how the colors play together and whether my idea worked (usually it does, I'm happy to say).

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Sleying, slaying...I'm doing a good bit of both these days.  I'm happy to say that both are necessary to making the next steps in my life or weaving possible...and just like the warp that gets laid out for me to view, slaying these demons is allowing me to see the beauty of the life I'm laying out before me too.  Deep breaths and trusting in myself...and plunging ahead!

Shop Knits

One of the cool things about working in a yarn store is that you get to do shop knits.  I'm making the St. Stephens Hat using Classic Elite's Fresco yarn.  I've used Fresco before and knew I'd love it and I wanted the challenge of actually doing stripes without the big jogs.  I managed pretty well with this one:

There are actually 2 patterns with this pattern.  The one I've finished and the one I'm working on.  The one I'm working on is colorwork.  The pattern says that you can get 4 hats out of the five balls of yarn you buy.  I'm going to get the two, let the shop show them off for a while, and then when winter has set in really cold and strong, I'll have two yummy alpaca, silk and angora hats to wear.  Life could be worse...

And speaking of needing to wear hats...y'all remember that I haven't lived any place really cold in a long time, right?  I mean Kentucky was really cold, right?  I'm told that it gets cold here...and I know my wardrobe isn't ready for it.  I don't think I am either, but I'll just have to chug ahead and make more hats!

Yarn

It's no secret that I love yarn.  In fact, those of you who have been to my place know just how much I love yarn and the rest of you can simply guess based on your own love of yarn or whatever other artistic pursuits you follow.

Yarn does it for me.  I love to look at it, feel it and then make things from it.  If the things I make are useful, more the better. If they're pretty AND useful, awesomeness.  If they're pretty, useful, and soft and luxurious...well...that's a match made in heaven.

Meet Honor by Lorna's Laces:

The color way is one that JBW is featuring while Sandy is undergoing her chemotherapy.  It's called "Go Sandy Go" and 100% of the profits are going to the SD Ireland Cancer Research Fund.

Honor is 70% alpaca and 30% silk and is just pure heaven.  I love knitting with this yarn, and garter stitch is perfect because it's showcasing the color and making the yarn squishy soft.  The pattern I'm using is French Cancan Shawl.  I have enough yarn to make the entire shawl from this color but I may combine with it the Fraser Colorway...we'll see how I feel when I get to that awesome lace and cable border.

This shawl will definitely meet the match made in heaven category.  I'm impatient to finish it up because it's so lovely and wonderful to touch...but that would mean I was done with it and that would be sad too.