Devil is in the details--and thoughts on being happy

I saw the cover photo for the Interweave Crochet Scene and knew that I had to make that sweater.  It's gorgeous.  Lovely...and just the right amount of challenge to be something other than the garter stitch that I've been knitting.

Plus crochet is so much faster than knitting so I knew I'd have this beauty finished in no time flat, relatively speaking.

I picked out my yarn--new color from Shibui called Tango.  Such a rich red and perfect in every way.  Bought it and brought it home.  No second thoughts.

Erika came over that night for "knit night" and I even swatched. Much to my dismay I messed up, but once I realize I'd messed up I was at a point that I knew the pattern and felt confident that my gauge was going to be ok...couldn't measure it because I'd messed up.  It was complicated, so just trust me on this one.  The drape of the fabric was nice...besides I was impatient to get going.

So I ripped out the swatch and started the little shoulder pieces and crocheted it.  Then I started the second shoulder piece, joined the two together and made the front bit.  I was a tad concerned that it was as short as it was but I figured that the lace would block out a bit so I would be ok.

Then as I got to the next bit of instructions I realized that I didn't know which was the right side or the wrong side of the fabric.  This was rather important as I needed to start on the "right shoulder" to start the back bits...but I didn't know which shoulder was the "right" one.

So I brought it in to work and showed it to Erika and she said, "this one's the right side because it's prettier"...no better options available, I marked it and went to work. (work, work, not crochet)

About 30 minutes into work I realized something horrible.

I'd picked out and crocheted with the entirely wrong yarn.  Right color, wrong yarn.  I couldn't believe my mistake so I checked the pattern, then I checked inventory...I'd mis-pulled the yarn.  And I'd even started crocheting with it...spent a lot of time with it actually and never even once realized my mistake.

That is until I was in some Zen moment entering invoices and realized what had happened.

I was heart broken.  What to do???

Initially I decided that since I like the fabric I'd continue with the wrong yarn, but after thinking on it over night I realized that was a terrible error and brought back the wrong yarn, made the appropriate exchange and brought home the right yarn...and today I started crocheting with it.

Man, what a difference the right yarn makes.  I was seriously thinking that that original yarn was awfully futzy.  Now I know...it was and for a reason.

Here's my mistake.  I'm almost to this point with the right yarn.  Pics later...

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At therapy last week I mentioned that I haven't been writing on the blog much and that I think that's pretty telling.  I'm still ridiculously happy with my new man...I'm still ridiculously happy with my job and with life.  It feels like everything is just going along so wonderfully.

And I'm incredibly busy and have had hardly any time to stop and really think about things.  So writing for the blog hasn't been something I've been doing.

I could see it going something like this:

Monday--very happy
Tuesday--still crazy happy
Wednesday--loving life
Thursday--Fun time planned for the weekend

you get the drift.  It's amazing.  I honestly feel like I came through the fire.

Which is pretty interesting considering I wrote this in February:

In the beginning there was me

Me. Alone. Lonely. Shattered.
Humiliated. Unbelieving.

Relieved.

Hopeful.

The passion burned so hot.  It scorched the outer layer that had protected me for so many years and left me naked and exposed.

It burned the falseness away and exposed you for what you are. A hateful cruel man who could only be satisfied with ownership, mastery, control.

The outer layer fertilized and germinated the kernel that is me...the heat broke open the shell.  The light allowed me to shine forth.

The residual heat kept me warm and glowing and allowed my roots to dig deep, hold tight, open up, stretch out.  My leaves reached to the sky and my soul was lifted.

My faith made me strong, kept me going, let me become the me that is here for you.

You. Who sees my soul and are amazed, in wonder, impressed.  The you who nourishes me with your faith. The you who gives me the gift of your love.  The you who notices the me that has come through the fire.

The me that is the beginning.

Me.  Alone.  Together.
Happy. Proud.
Knowing.

Relieved.

Hopeful.