I never know what day of the week it is

One of the weird things about working in a business that is open 7 days a week is that only a few have a M-F schedule.  Many of us work different schedules, don't have 2 days in a row off, or something along those lines.

I work Saturday through Wednesday right now.  So, when everyone comes to work and says "ugh it's such a Monday," all I can think is "it's Wednesday, right"

And on Wednesday when it's my Friday I'm so happy and tell everyone when I leave "see you next week" because it's MY weekend...well, that's just weird, too.

And on Friday when I'm relaxing or doing errands or doing whatever I used to do on Sundays I read all these posts on Facebook about everyone talking about it being Friday and looking forward to having their weekend...and I'm thinking "but my "Monday" is tomorrow.

It's right confusing, I tell you.

And I really usually have absolutely no idea what day of the week it is.  Good thing I'm good about marking the days off of my calendar because I think I'd forget even worse.

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Today, as in just a few minutes ago, I put this beauty on the blocking mats.

Pattern: Lunaris
Yarn: Yummy by Miss Babs in colors Lagoon and Pool--March 2015 colors to represent Sri Lanka on the 2015 Miss Babs Knitting Tour.

I loved knitting with this yarn.  The dye is gorgeous and the two colors are so special and wonderful.  I'm going to see if I have enough left to make a pair of fraternal socks...and if so those will be cast on this afternoon.

Grief

Grief is a funny thing, isn't it?  It's such a long process...drawn out.  There are good days, bad days, some days you think you can't make it through.

And somehow we do.

Grief has hit me hard this week.  I find it funny that my last entry was about how happy I am.  And I am happy.

Maybe that's the thing, right?  I'm happy, I'm ok...I'm not worrying too much anymore.  I'm feeling good about my choices and my future...and then grief, those emotions that I haven't processed because they were too painful when I was so sad and scared and miserable...Grief comes to the front and smacks me in the gut and makes me want to curl up and cry for a good long time.

So I do. And I ache and I hurt and I wish so much that things weren't the way they are.

But things are the way they are and I am where I am, and I know that it's a good thing, even though it hurts right now.

I know I'll pull through it because I will.  I'm doing the hard work I need to do to get healthy.  Part of that is knowing that not everyday is going to be perfect and that sometimes I have to feel sad.  And sometimes I have to cry.  And sometimes I have to wish things were the way they used to be even though I don't really wish that.

And then Pearl brings me a ball and we play for a bit and Zora lets me hug her really tight and feel her squishy belly...and I start to feel better.  I talk to some friends and look at pics my mom is sending about her fun trip...and I start feeling better.

I know it'll be ok.  I'm doing ok...I know that.

But today I'm sad anyway.

Happy Thoughts

Well, I've been in Backorders/Receiving for 3 weeks now and I thoroughly love it.  I can't remember ever being so excited about going to work and thrilled while I'm there.

And I love, even more, when I walk into work and people say "ooh, what are YOU wearing today?" and they come give me the "knitter's handshake" by touching and giving me compliments about my new shawl...

I mean, seriously!  I've stumbled into not only satisfying work but also awesome colleagues.  Life is indeed happy.

Pattern is Penance and Pennants for the 2014 Dragonfly Club.  Yarn is Stone Circle in Traveler.  My thoughts?  Pattern was "eh."    Lovely end result, but several errors which made it frustrating.  I'm a smart knitter, but also a lazy one.  I don't want to have to "think" about what I should be doing instead of what the pattern is telling me to do.  Tech editing is so important to a good pattern.

The yarn, though?  OH MY.  Traveler felt a tad scratchy at first, but when it got in its bath it became the happiest creature in the world.  It loosened up, relaxed and told me just how happy it was to be knitted up into the pattern that it was knitted up into.  I barely had to do anything for blocking because it just "was"...The dye work by Dragonfly is some of the best out there.  The yarn is gorgeous in the skein, in the cake, knitted up AND crocheted (I'm crocheting a scrap afghan with my yarn club leftovers).

Oh, and that button at my throat?  It's vintage, from my Grandma's button box.

Happy thoughts indeed!

(and in case you're wondering I entered AND processed 21 invoices today...that's a TON...and it's SO MUCH FUN!)

More thoughts on yarn clubs...and living in the mountains

Back in July 2012 David and I went to Switzerland for a week.  It was heavenly and beautiful and wonderful.  I wish I'd been lighter and in better shape because I think I would have enjoyed it that much more.  But there's always a next time.

When we were at the bar one night I asked the hotel manager/bar tender/chef/overall nice guy if he ever become immune to the beauty and grandeur of the landscape.  Did he see the mountains with fresh eyes everyday and was he as overwhelmed with the beauty as he was upon first seeing it?

In other words...Is it possible to "get used to" such amazing scenery?

I'd never lived in a landscape I would have called "overwhelmingly beautiful" before.  Kentucky was pretty...definitely green and aestetic, but not grand and not, in my opinion, overwhelmingly beautiful (I'm not knocking Kentucky, but it certainly isn't Switzerland if you catch my meaning...).  The flat rolling plains of Texas where I grew up are familiar and comforting and contain their own beauty, but definitely not something that I'd consider overwhelmingly beautiful.

And to be honest, while there were so many trees in Mississippi that that had to be beautiful, I didn't find it so.  I couldn't SEE beyond where I was standing.  And for me to feel beauty in a landscape I need to see far.

I love the beach for this reason.  You can see the edge of the world at the beach.  It's freeing and opens the mind and soul and makes me feel peaceful and calm.

So, I didn't know how I was going to feel about moving to the mountains.  I thought they were stunning upon my first arriving here.  I loved the different shades of brown and green and loved that everywhere I looked there was a different mountain with a different type of vegetation on it, or a different shading of the sun, or clouds, or whatever.  I feel I'm not a safe driver because I'm so busy looking around at the splendor around me.

I've been here almost 7 months and I still find this landscape overwhelmingly beautiful.  It's gorgeous here.  And while I worried about the mountains making me feel a little hemmed in (like I did all those pine trees in Mississippi), I feel protected and safe with those mountains all around me.

My answer to whether you get "used to" living in an overwhelmingly beautiful landscape is never.  Everyday the mountains are different, or the clouds are different, or the sky is different.  Something makes the view change, just slightly, so that you see it anew again and again are overwhelmed at the majesty of the surroundings.

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One of the "yarn clubs" that I'm participating in is what I'm calling the "Just at Jimmy's" club.  If I like any of the Microbrews we carry I'm buying a skein, or if I like the Onesies I'll buy a skein...these go into my pile of yarn club yarns to knit up this year (and into next I'm sure but I'm not going to fret about how long it takes).

When I was going through the boxes of Tosh Sock, I saw these beauties and put my name on them, in pen, so that when they were entered into the system they could go home with me.  That's commitment.  Love at first sight...and now I just have to figure out what I'm going to make with them! :)

A 2014 Yarn Club Yarn

Since I've declared 2015 the "year of the yarn club" I'm trying to knit all the club yarns that come in relatively close to when they arrive and then knit some old things as I'm waiting on the new stuff.  The Cookie A patterns (and yarn!) were fabulous and I had a few days waiting for the next shipment to come in so I started this one...I think it was from August or June of 2014...definitely hideous summer time...heck it could have been October, but I don't know.

It's Outlander Themed...The yarn is called Stone Circle and is in the Traveler base that Dragonfly Fibers carries.  It's beautiful knitted and that beauty is helping me get through the pattern...which I don't hate but I don't love either.  Maybe I will one day.  But as the shawl grows and the rows get ever longer, I'm just hoping that I finish it before I quit it...

I think I will.

Here it is about 8 repeats in.  I have 11 before starting the border, and I almost finished repeat 9 before going to bed last night...maybe I can get through repeat 10 tonight.  That should give me the motivation to keep trucking along...

As I'm knitting on it I'm glad that it's mostly neutral in tone and that I'll have something that will indeed be a neutral colored accessory.  I find I don't have many of those since I gravitate towards bright happy colors most of the time.

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I finished watching Grantchester yesterday.  What a wonderful show.  I do hope they make a follow-up season.  I so thoroughly enjoyed this one.

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I'm attempting to re-read The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood.  I loved it when I read it the first time so suggested it for our start-up JBW bookclub...but...I'm struggling to read.  Still don't have the proper attention span for reading, even the easy stuff (and this isn't an easy book).  One day I will, but for now, I get through a few pages at a time.

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I went to see Cinderella at the movie theater last night.  That was fun and enjoyable and highly recommended if you like the fairy tale (Disney version).

One week, start to finish!

Socks that knit themselves

I don't know if you've found your designer, or your project, or you "go to" thing...but I LOVE knitting socks, and I especially love knitting socks designed by Cookie A.  I am on the 3rd pair in a row (Senna, Peachy Keen, and now Pai Mei), and let me tell you that I could start a 4th and not be in the least bit sad or bored about it.

At any rate, the first of this pair is finished and as soon as I'm done typing this I will start the heel flap on the second, which means that it's about 1/2 done.

I believe that this sock knitted itself.  It practically flew off of the needles and made me so happy in the process.  Cookie A designs are genius.  A bit like solving a puzzle.  I love that I can see into the design and figure it out after a little bit (most of the time).  And the effects are just so amazing.

And I also have to say that Anzula Squishy yarn?  If you have an opportunity to splurge, do so.  Heaven in merino, cashmere and nylon.

And since I can barely stand not working on it, I'm heading back to it!

Happy beginning of your week everyone!  I'll be mid-week tomorrow...

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Work continues to be awesome.  Reno is incredibly beautiful.  And if the spring buds everywhere are any promise...spring is about to blow my mind! :)

Thoughts for today...

I can feel strong and powerful and able. 

Capable and happy.

Promising and intelligent.

Pretty.

Beautiful even.

I know I’m sexy.

I am whole and sound and fun to be around.

People like me.

I know what I am and where I start and where I stop.

It’s empowering and since I’m already powerful it’s amazing.

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Coloring in the negative spaces:

Voila!

Or as my mom says "Viola!"

The Peachy Keen socks are finished and I have to tell you I'm quite KEEN on these socks.  They are lovely, so soft and luxurious and warm and so pretty to look at.  Made me happy to wear them to work today! (and no, I don't bother washing and blocking my socks first unless I notice some serious dye bleeding...I haven't regretted it yet!)

And because I know you're curious I started the Pai Mei socks by Cookie A...the second club sock for this month.  I'm using Aqua Anzula Squishy.  I promise pictures tomorrow.

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Tomorrow is knit night.  I'm bringing my hitchhiker shawl because it needs to be brought to the light and finished.

And this marks the beginning of my weekend.  I'm very happy about that!  hugs everyone!

I'm in a bit of a pickle...

...those of you who love knitting will completely understand my conundrum.

I have two projects that I want to start.  Right now.  Well, right as soon as I'm finished with the mate to this sock (which will happen tonight/this afternoon)

I want to start the second Cookie A pattern...it's gorgeous and I bought some turquoise Anzula Squishy to go with it.

But I also want to start a cowl in one of the next JBW microbrews.  I can't tell you about it specifically because it isn't an active yarn but it's beautiful and I love it and I want to make something with it right now.

I know I could start both and go back and forth, but I'm really enjoying my socks and I LOVE getting deep into a Cookie A pattern.  But the yarn...the yarn is talking to me.  Singing to me.  BEGGING me to knit it.

OH, poo!  I really don't know what to do!!!!!

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I started working in Backorders/Receiving today. Rachel says I'm a natural.  It was fun and I'm looking forward to learning some more tomorrow!  Lauren gave me a hug and everyone seemed happy that I was there.  Makes me feel good.

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And honestly, I've realized that I'm soul satisfied.  Sure there are some things I want in my life, but I'm ok as I am and they will only ADD TO what I have.  Because you know what?  If it's something that's going to take away from where I am, I'm not going to have anything to do with it.

How's that for boundaries for you?  This, from a girl who just over 6 months ago really couldn't identify what boundaries were and was terrified of enforcing them because people would run away from her.  But you know what's happened instead?  People are attracted.  They want to know me and you know what?  That's a pretty awesome feeling!

Soul satisfied.  It's truly remarkable!