On this, my birthday eve

I've been very reflective today.  Thinking about where I was last year and what I was doing for my birthday (Roanoke, VA, for David's conference...I bought the coat that has been keeping me warm the past couple of weeks) and how different things are this year.

It's times like birthdays and holidays where we have traditions and fond memories that make us nostalgic for the way things were, for the people who are gone from our lives, for the things we don't have/won't have again.

This year has been particularly hard.  I lost my dad, my uncle, my marriage.  My daughters moved away and while I haven't "lost" them it's different.

I suppose you could say I've also lost my home.

I totally switched my career path and moved across the country to see if I could make it reality.

And as I sit on the eve of my birthday and reflect on my past, this year in particular but the other years too, I know that I am beyond blessed to have had such a happy life, to have been privileged, educated, warm, comfortable and loved.

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I am dedicating the "new year" (which begins tomorrow) to the "new me".  I will be born on this 45th birthday of my life.  I will explore, expand, create and live.  I will be happy and strong and proud.

I will glory in the sunsets and sunrises when I get to see them.

I will love and be kind.

And I will never stop being grateful for all of you who have held me strong through this past year.  Those of you who have embraced me, encouraged me, and held me up when I felt like falling flat down.

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